The Bane of His Existence
by Kitty Kat K.O
Summary: It was times like this that Pai really thought the world hated him. Sometimes, they were just too much to handle. All he wants is a break - is that too much to ask? Pai-centric; no pairings.


**A/N: **This is just a little something I felt like doing for a change. I've seen a couple stories written like this before, and really liked them, so I thought I might give it a try. It's short, I know, but it was a relief for me - especially considering the huge, long oneshot I posted last week. Plus, I've never really written something with Pai in the spotlight before, and decided to give it a go.

This is basically a serious of clips that sort of follow on. Like a broken story (there is actually a story to it - it does progress, somewhat), I suppose. No pairings in this, sorry guys. :P

**Disclaimer: **I don't own TMM.

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1.

It was times like this that Pai really thought the world hated him.

"So if you put this on, just like this, you'll look like a real Earthling… Nah, ah, ah - no arguing. You need to blend in for this next mission. …There! That's great; now go show Pai."

"Uh, Kish, are you sure that I look like a human?"

"Yes, yes, Tart. Now go. Show. Pai."

"Ok, whatever you say…"

Sighing, the eldest alien waited disinterestedly for the youngest to make his appearance in… whatever Kish had managed to trick him into wearing this time. As soon as Tart entered the room, Pai's face fell. And he stood corrected.

There was no 'thought' involved. The world actually did hate him.

2.

"Bah! I can't believe Kish! Sneaky, sly, little bas--"

"Tart. If you want me to help you, I suggest you shut up and hold still."

"…Sorry…"

Groaning, Pai returned to the task of trying to pull open the several zippers so that Tart would be released from his furry prison. It amused him as to how his younger friend could be so dumb as to think that this… _costume _of sorts could ever be anything like what a real, everyday human would wear. But then again, that was Tart for you.

Pai moved to tug at the final zipper. His eyebrow quirked. Noting the elder's lack of movement, Tart asked, "Why'd you stop?"

"Hmm… we seem to have a problem…" he admitted.

Tart's face lit up in horror. "No, don't say it," he begged.

"…The zipper's stuck."

3.

Teleporting back into the building, Kish grinned happily. Grabbing a handful of the cheese puffs from the bag he held, he threw them up into the air, catching them in his mouth as they came back down. He began descending, reaching for another handful of the delicious snack as he did so and repeating the process as before. Only… he wasn't able to catch them this time.

A fist connected with the side of his face, knocking him so hard that he fell to the floor with an "Oomph!".

His face was twisted in pain as he sat up and started rubbing the back of his head. "What was that for?"

"Two hours. Two damn hours I've been trying to get that damn zipper undone." His voice was calm, but Kish wasn't fooled - Pai's face was wild with fury.

Kish's eyes went wide, and he "Eep!"ed once, before teleporting out as fast as possible.

4.

_Riiiiing. Riiiiing. Riiiiing. _

Closing his eyes in annoyance, Pai listened to the phone ringing. After several more moments of the irritating noise, and determining that no-one else was going to pick up, he reluctantly stood and made his way over to the small table the device rested on. Taking hold of the receiver, he clicked the 'accept call' button and brought it to his ear.

"…Hello?" he said warily, eyes narrowing in suspicion. It wasn't as if he got calls from many people.

"Pai. Would you care to tell me why there is a whimpering Kish cowering in the corner of the Café kitchen?" came Ryou's voice from the other end.

"Not really, no. Now, I'm very busy Shirogane, so if you will so kindly leave me alone, I'd like to get back to what I was previously doing."

Without waiting for a reply, he hung up the phone and walked away.

5.

_Riiiiing. Riiiiing. Riiiiing. _

Striding towards the phone, Pai snatched it from its holder.

"Hello?" His greeting was cold, hostile, and probably would have scared away most callers with just that one word. But this was no ordinary caller.

"Pai! What the heck is Tart doing over here, yelling at Kish, whilst dressed in a giant bunny suit?!" Ryou demanded heatedly.

"Well, I guess he's yelling at Kish whilst dressed in a giant bunny suit," he replied, voice only showing hints of his frustration. Although, he did have to bite back a low chuckle when he heard the blonde growl in irritation.

"That's not very helpful," Ryou snapped.

"No. But is it so much to just ask for a break from those two once in a while?"

The next thing Ryou heard was the dial tone.

6.

The door burst open and in walked Kish, followed closely by a still fuming Tart who was muttering several curses under his breath at him. But this went unnoticed by Kish, as he grinned and strode forwards, completely oblivious.

"Oh Paaaaaiiii! We're hoooome!" the green-haired alien called out cheerfully.

There was the sound of shuffling in one of the adjoining rooms, followed by the creaking of the bedroom door and the pattering of light footsteps. The room was dark, so Kish and Tart couldn't quite make out their oldest friend, but they could definitely sense him. He was here somewhere.

"Where'd that damn light-switch go?" mumbled Tart as he traced his hand along the wall. Kish shrugged - not that the action could be seen - before opening his mouth.

"So? Did you miss us?" he asked, facing the direction he thought Pai was stood in.

"Miss you…?" came the soft, quiet response. "Did I miss you while you were out? Hmm, you have a lot more to be worried about than me 'missing you', Kish."

"Like what?" he asked, as Tart successfully found the switch and the lights flickered on.

But instantly, they both wished it were dark again. Because angry-Pai sent shivers down their spines. His face was livid with absolute rage, hands curled into fists at his sides with an object protruding from one. And yet… his next words were so controlled, almost as if there was no anger welling up inside him at all.

"Like the fact it's three o'clock in the damn morning."

But then, of course, he ruined the image of being cool and composed by chasing them around their apartment, with his frying pan waving around madly.

7.

"Owww," Kish moaned, placing the ice-bag to the bump on his head once more. "Why'd Pai have to be so mean? What'd we do?"

"_We? _Oh no, there is no 'we' about it! It's all your fault!" Tart cried, jumping up onto his feet to point at him. Though he did so too quickly, and found himself collapsing back onto the sofa dizzily.

"Me? Nuh-uh! Can't be - Pai loves me best! Anyway, he's probably just being a grump, as usual," Kish retorted.

"…"

"…He's standing right behind me, isn't he?"

A nod.

"Kish, did you like being hit with the frying pan?"

"No! Pai, please? Noooooo-- Ow."

8.

His left eyebrow began twitching. A vein in his forehead started pulsing. His teeth ground together. And it took all of his will-power not to raise a fist and knock Kish upside the head.

"But why do I have to come with you?" said alien whined, as a pout adorned his lips, a fanged tooth protruding from them.

"Because it was your head that broke the pan, so you should be the one to get a new one," Pai explained slowly, as if talking to a young child.

Kish stared at him, confused. "So then, why did you come with me?"

"As if I'd ever trust you to come here alone. Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"Um… no?" he replied, his tone questioning, unsure.

Pai's eyes narrowed.

"I mean yes! Yes! Wait… ah, I mean no! Definitely no!" Kish cried, throwing his hands out in front of him to protect himself from Pai's wrath.

"Good," he replied, still continuing to glare at Kish. The younger of the two gulped, turning his head to avoid the awkward stare. He paused, gasping at what his eyes had caught sight of. And then…Silence.

Until Kish's cry rang out through the entire supermarket.

"Pai! Look! A _squirrel!"_

9.

"Ow! Ow, ow, ow. Pai, couldn't you try-- OW! To be - ow- a little gent-- ow! Gentler? Please?"

Pai glanced upwards, eyes so narrowed they were virtually slits, a disapproving frown stretching across his lips. Instantly, Kish shut his mouth. Pai returned to wrapping his bandages, ignoring him when he "Eep"ed, and "Ow"ed. When he was finally done, he stood, turning and walking towards the door.

He halted as he reached it, hand outstretched and grasping the handle, twisting to look over his shoulder at Kish.

"Next time," he began, "take a better look before you go chasing after things. And learn to tell a squirrel from an angry cat, would you?"

And with that, he exited the room, leaving Kish to mope and hug his wounds.

10.

Years. Torment-filled, torturous, tiring years. That's how long he'd had to put up with those two and their childish antics. The pain and agony he'd been through _babysitting_ the younger aliens had taken its toll upon him, wearing him down both physically and mentally. He had been driven to the point of near-insanity and back with their constant idiocy.

So, it was more than a small miracle that he had managed to find time where there was no noise, no trouble to sort out, _no them_. He smiled a rare, blissful smile, leaning back into the armchair and closing his eyes. He wanted to rest.

But he should have known it wouldn't last.

"Paiiiiiii! Kish just stole my candy!"

Tart's voice, along with the slamming of the door, shattered the resting aliens silence. He suppressed a growl, already beginning to feel a headache coming on.

"No I dih'n't!" Kish denied, as the front door opened and closed again and he entered the room. His speech was slightly obscured; it sounded like he had his mouth full of something.

Pai rolled his eyes. Oh yes, the headache was definitely starting. His eyebrow began twitching, vein in his forehead beginning to pulse as their fighting started, once again.

Poor Pai. All he wanted was some peace.

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**A/N: **I actually feel quite sorry for Pai, now. After putting him through all that pain, and stuff. XD

Anyway. Little green button: cliiiiiiiiick it. Reviews make me write more. :3 Oh, and did I get Pai's character right?


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